


Elapse

by lostinyou



Series: Miles Away [1]
Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Moon, Romance, Soulmates, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 18:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3946306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinyou/pseuds/lostinyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles, a 18 year old boy with the most loving mother and a raging stepfather finds himself carrying the weight of others. </p><p>Everyday Harry would question himself what it would be like to be in a relationship like its part of his routine. </p><p>Suddenly bruises and unexplainable marks appeared upon his skin. It all gives him a sign that he has a soulmate. </p><p>Everyday gets a bit tougher for Harry because of all the pain he is receiving and the time waiting for that perfect person to show up. The pressure he gets from his surroundings leads him into difficult decisions and it all seems too much for him. He gets caught up in the moments where he's crying and being in a life or death situation.  </p><p>Because of Harry's past everything seemed to not matter anymore besides the love he has for someone he has never met or seen. His love for that person grows and grows like its all he has.</p>
            </blockquote>





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Kisses and hugs and lots of other things couples do annoy Harry. Nicknames had got him confused; baby, snuggles, teddy, and honey. Harry didn't understand relationships, never been in one either. Didn't know what it feels like to be in love. Harry felt it was better off not to be with anyone. He decided if he wants to fall in love it better be with the right person.

The day had started and Harry had just woken up. His body was aching from sleeping wrong on an accidental note. He slowly lifted himself up from his mattress and sighed to himself. The bed wasn't as comfortable than it was before. Harry's weak knees pushed himself off the bed and his feet taking small steps to the bathroom. Harry had slept in his Pink Floyd t-shirt and dark denim jeans. Harry left the bathroom door open because he knew no one would come in considering he lives alone. The zip on his pants was taken between his index and thumb and was pulled down to its end mark. Harry stood in front of the toilet for a few seconds before zipping up his zipper. Harry clumsily turn the light off before walking off to his dresser. The dresser was pried open and a pair of jeans almost like the ones he was wearing now and his Eagles 75 t-shirt was taken out.

Slipping his right arm through the sleeve before slipping his left arm through. The shirt was pulled through his head and tug down to his waist. Long fingers raked his hair back without bothering to do anything else with it. Harry grabbed his jeans from the bed as he shuffled out of his other ones. Tugging his pants up to his waistline while zipping and buttoning. At the top of Harry's head he knew it was gonna be another day without anything interesting or new. The same day has been everyday. He got tired of doing the same old thing. Rolling out dough, cutting curlicues out of chocolate, piping cakes, loading pies into ovens. Harry spends about five hours working around old ladies.  
The worst thing about his job is see couples come in to buy their pastries and sit down to share. Kisses through small amounts of bread, icing and chocolate. It disgusted Harry so much.

When his shift is almost over he goes ahead grabs the broom from closet and clean up the crumbs customers might have dropped. He always spends about seven minutes staring out of the large window watching people walk along the pavement. That was until Barbara comes over and pinches his ear telling him to finish up. Barbara was Harry's manager, they have been very close since Harry turned 13. Harry is 18 now and just a couple months until his birthday. For his 19 birthday he is wishing to get an email accepting him into Uni he been wanting to attend to. So what if Harry doesn't want to be with anyone? He's gonna have a bright future either way.

Harry slipped on his right converse shoe. Tying the shoelace until it was tight how he likes it and pushing the two strings into his shoes. Today is the 22 of December, Christmas was just a few days away. There wasn't anyone that Harry was gonna spend Christmas unless someone invited him. His parents were planning to go on a holiday to visit his dad's side of the family. Harry was left behind along with his sister, Gemma, who he didn't care about what she could be up to. Harry didn't care what could be happening right now. He never wants to be involved with anything or anyone. He couldn't care less if the world was at stake.

The black button up coat was taken off the coat rack and arms slipped through the thick, soft fabric. Harry left the buttons alone and made his way up to the front door. Almost everyday Harry forgets that he leaves his keys in his coat pocket instead of hanging them up by the door. The front door was swung open and Harry locked it before closing it behind him. A black Range Rover stood in his driveway that he received on his 16 birthday. One of the best presents that he got out of all the birthdays he had. The pad of Harry's thumb pressed down on the unlock button twice. A soft beep sounded before the door was open and closed. Harry's left foot sat on top of the brake while he puts the key into the ignition and turning it away from him. The growl of the engine indicated that the car had started. Slowly and lightly the same foot pushed down on the gas causing the car to move back. Once he got onto the road he turned the wheel left and continuing driving.

Harry arrived to the bakery a few minutes early. Being early was his best intention that he likes to pull on his employees. He hung up his coat onto the coat hanger and went straight to get the cleaning supplies from the closet. He knew Barbara was in her office making calls with customers so he thought cleaning up the place was a good gift since it's the almost Christmas. About five squirts of Mr. Clean was sprayed onto the counters. Right after a paper towel started from one end and making its way to the other. Harry made sure the counter was completely wiped off before placing dough on it. Harry forgetting to eat breakfast this morning; opening up the transparent box and sneaking out a donut covered with chocolate icing and rainbow color sprinkles. Looking left and right before taking a bite, a hand was held up because he didn't want anymore crumbs on the floor. Saving him a few minutes of cleaning up the bakery.

The back door had open and the little head of Barbara's popped out. Harry quickly put the sprinkled donut behind his back, wishing that Barbara wouldn't see it. He knew if he got caught his punishment was to dress up and go outside holding up a bucket waiting for someone to put money in it so it can go to a charity. Wasn't the best punishment for Harry but wasn't bad either for Harry's pet peeves. Barbara gave Harry a suspicious look before asking him what he is doing. Harry hesitated with his answer and tried to come up with a lie.

"I was just about to clean." His lie was partially true, Barbara wasn't convinced with his answer but let him go anyway. Barbara went back into her office and Harry let out a sigh in relief. He removed his arm from behind his back and took another bite from his donut. He continued taking small bites until he finished it, wiping crumbs off his hands onto the floor as for receiving those few minutes back. Harry grabbed the cleaning supplies and walked up to the tables, adding a couple squirts of the lemon scent liquid. He wiped down the tables and seats a couple times, wanting everything clean was one of his priorities.

The bell on top of the door had rung as two women walked in while they were chattering. Harry wasn't satisfied that he had to work today and neither was his employees too. "Oh, hello Harry." said the woman in a beige coat and a black purse hanging from her forearm. Harry continued to clean the rest of the tables and seats paying no attention to the two women. "Harry, aren't you going to say hello back?" The two women took off their coats and wiped off some of the snow as to see its been snowing outside. Harry replied by shaking his head after putting the cleaning supplies back into the closet. The two women got straight to work without saying a hello to their boss.

Business was slow then again it always has been. The bell rung again and it was a girl hung onto a boy's arm, she was wearing a sweater a Christmas sweater. Laughing into the boy's ear and looking at him like he's her whole world. Harry was rolling out the dough but was distracted by the two people. The girl played around with the boy's hands before they entwined with hers. She kissed his cheek and smiled. Harry watched the couple like there was nothing else he could do with himself. The thought quickly came to his head that falling in love maybe good would come from it. But what about the cons? Fighting, leaving, drinking, abuse. Love shouldn't be about abuse and totally taking advantage of their partner. Harry didn't want to fall in love with anyone he wanted to find his soulmate. He wanted to find him. Harry have never liked girls he figured they are more difficult to deal with but with guys it's easier. They feel like they have their own way and understand each other better. Finding a soulmate seemed impossible, if finding someone to love could they be the one or a mistake that shouldn't been done? Searching for your soulmate meant searching for someone who has the same thoughts and feels the same as the other. A soulmate that feels the right connection between his or her partner. Harry thought a soulmate was someone that is suited for them. Not only did Harry want a soulmate he needed one. Seeing couples everywhere without someone there next to him didn't feel right to Harry.

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

Harry blinked multiple times before focusing what's in front of him. The same boy and girl looked at Harry expecting him to say something.

"Sorry, I was dozing off." Harry said.

"It's okay. Can I get a box of those chocolate filled donuts?"

Harry lifted up the clear box grabbing a smaller box of donuts, placing it on the counter and adding the product to the cash register. The couple payed for their item and left the bakery, leaving a sad Harry behind. How did they end up together? How will Harry end up with someone? Harry wanted to know how he is going to find his soulmate. Is it at certain place? An accidental phone call? Love at first sight? The many possibilities are endless.

The day was about over and Harry had to clean up the bakery. Taking the broom into his hands and swiping it back and forth to gather up the dust and crumbs. Once the dirt was into a pile Harry grabbed the dustpan and sweeped it onto it. He dumped the dirt into the trashcan and put the broom and dustpan away into the closet. Barbara came out of her office for the longest time, Harry didn't want to know what she has been doing in there. "Oh Harry, I know it's almost Christmas and I thought you could take a holiday in fact all of us should take a holiday." She pinched Harry's cheek but Harry wasn't phased about it. "I don't want you to miss Christmas by working." Barbara continued.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course honey."

Harry grabbed the same coat he wore earlier when he got to the bakery and slid it on; mindlessly helped Barbara put hers on. Harry scrabbled around in his pocket, grabbing his keys which he dropped moments later before picking them up. He left the bakery and climbed into his car before restarting it and driving away.

Harry reached the superstore for some Christmas gifts. Harry remember that his mother wanted home decorations like: candles, antique little dolls and baskets. His sister, Gemma wanted what every girl needs bras, panties and clothes. Lastly, Harry's stepfather needed a new kitchen set. They all seem pretty expensive in Harry's mind, but everyone wants something that is expensive. The thing about Christmas year is there isn't anyone to spend Christmas with. Harry would crack if he had to sit around his house watching the packers game and answering a few phone calls. What if Harry finds his soulmate on Christmas? If Harry meets him he would kill him with hugs and couple kisses on the cheek. Share presents that they both got each other. Harry was always so picky about gifts, and if he meets his soulmate he knows it would be something he been wanting for a long time. Not every gift is worth it so Harry thought he could give his soulmate a gift that he can use everyday. What exactly does his soulmate want? Bicycle? Coffee machine? Mugs? 1975's recent album? A football jersey would be a good gift, Harry thought right off the bat. But what team does his soulmate like? Maybe a Derby Rams jersey? Bet he'll like that.

Harry walked into Victoria's Secret first because buying something from a store that only girls shop at is too embarrassing for Harry. All these bras and panties are expensive, Harry thought. Harry trying to remember what size Gemma wears and quickly grabs what he sees. A black bra with small white dots and speckled panties. Harry's shiny green eyes nearly widen when he saw the price of the two items; Harry put the two items back and tried looking for something a little cheaper. He found matching panties and bra with a decent price and he brought them up to the counter?

"Did you find everything you need for that special someone?" The cashier asked.

"No, I'm Christmas shopping for my sister."

The lady behind the counter raised her eyebrows before placing the items and the receipt into the plastic bag. Harry grabbed the bag and mouthed a good-bye and walked right out of the store. Next was the Home Goods store. There were candles on shelves and clocks on the walls. Drawers sat in the middle of the floor and baskets stacked on top of each other. The first thing Harry thought of getting his mother was a candle. His feet moved him to the shelves; too many candles to pick out from. Harry noticed a candle labeled Merry Christmas, and Harry stood on the tip of his toes to grab it. He hold it with one hand while he unscrewed the lid. Poking his nose into the candle as he sniffed with it; it had the perfect scent for every home to smell good. Harry grabbed another one for himself; Harry didn't really have any candles for his house. Harry paced himself to another counter with a cashier praying he wouldn't feel embarrassed again.

It was another lady behind the counter but with a clerk beside her. She took one item and scanned it twice, Harry payed with his debt card and hooked another bag onto his arm. Two people down and two more to go. It's been at least an hour and Harry was just to buy a gift for his father. Last but not least was a gift for his soulmate. He stepped foot into a store that sells clothes, equipment, and uniforms, looking around to find any jerseys. All Harry saw was Argentina, Brazil, and Manchester jerseys until he spotted the jersey he been looking for towards the back. He flicked through the hangers deciding what size his soulmate wears. Harry picked out a large and thought that it can shrink once in the dryer. Really hoping that his soulmate would like it and would love Harry as much as Harry does. He's becoming quite aware of his heart and the person he's been fated for and the question what if? He thinks that's slightly silly, if not strange altogether. He's never met this person before and he doesn't even know if he's been matched, but here he is, worrying about them. He hopes that when he meets his match, they'll make their own decisions. He doesn't want to force anyone into anything, even if such a refusal would hurt.

"I'm getting way too attached to you," he says, taking the jersey off the clothes rack. His head is clearer now and he can think. "I wonder if you can hear me in your head," Harry continued, "Who am I kidding I can't hear you."

Harry stride to the counter one last time and set the last item on it. The pressure from buying Christmas gifts has been conquered. Harry can finally breath again but still isn't sure if his soulmate would like his gift. How could you possibly buy a gift for someone you have never met? Harry was slowly falling in love but how? Every part of Harry's body was getting weaker. His stomach nearly turned thinking if his soulmate feels it too. Was that all he was thinking? The muscles in his back becoming prominent as he pushed the heavy doors to the store. Harry needed to lay down and talk to someone about his feelings. Loving someone that you haven't met wasn't easy-or at least Harry thought. Harry stood in a corner that no one was around and pulled out his cell phone. Dialing his sister's number and bringing up the phone to his ear. The ringing noise hasn't stopped until Gemma picked up the phone.

"Harry?"

"Gemma, can I ask you a question?" Harry chewed on his fingers.

"Harry what's wrong?" Worry rolled out of her tongue.

"Nothing, I'm fine it's just, I want to find my soulmate and I been getting these weird feelings. Plus this morning I found a bruise on my arm when I was changing clothes and I haven't done any damage to my body." Harry talked quickly and was a bit relieved for telling someone.

"Harry, you have another half!" Gemma squealed on the other line of the phone call.

"Really? But how can I find him?"

"I don't know, it takes time to find your soulmate. It could take days, months maybe even years."

"Thank you, that's all I needed to hear. I'll see you later, Bye." Harry ended the call and slid his phone back into his pocket. He glanced around the area in front of him before picking his gifts up from the floor. "I really need to get home." he told himself. The bags of his gifts hit the sides of his legs every time he took a step. Harry walked outside, green eyes scan the parking lot and trying to remember where he parked. Losing his car was the last thing he needed. Harry walked along the pavement on the side of the mall, narrowed eyes gazed at the ground. What could he possibly need to get through the day? A nap? Lunch with his old pal that he met a long time ago? The latter would be too much. He couldn't pick anything. Harry reached his car the second a car in front of him pulled out of its parking space. A honking sound ringing in his ears. "Did you not see me walking here? You could've run me over." Harry yelled at the bloke. Harry shook his head before unlocking the back of his car. He encouraged his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing a couple circles around. The gifts were set to one side on the surface, pushing outdoor chairs farther back. He closed the door before climbing into the drivers seat. Releasing a quiet sigh, rolling his eyes and rubbing the tiredness away. Maybe Harry did need a nap but he has so many things that need to be done.

Harry pulled up onto the highway, checking his surroundings before turning a right. Just like every lesson on how to drive a vehicle Harry kept his eyes on the road. Every now and then he'll look out the window, blurry images passing by. When he first learn how to drive he was very nervous.

__________________________

"So do you just, flick this thing up when you want to turn left?" Harry narrowed his eyes at the turning signal.

"No, you flick it up when you want to go right."

"Oh right I forgot." Harry sat back in his seat, fingers were becoming clammy as he thought that he was going to drive his car for the first time. Harry's mother, Anne placed a hand on his thigh moving it up and down. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them. Changing the gear to reverse and turning his head to look out one of the back seat windows. "This is so scary." Harry pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. Anne was cheering him on at how perfectly he did it. Another gulp of air that Harry breathed in was released seconds after. Turning the steering wheel before shifting the gear again. Slowly putting his foot on the gas and slightly pushing down on it. Watching his speed and slowing down on corners and giving his car a little more gas. He went around the block a few times before Anne decided that they needed a break and to come inside for dinner.

"You did great, Harry. Something tells me you are getting your license before your friends." Harry laughed and Anne continued, "I think that you should start Drivers Ed next month. Give you more time to drive around so you are more comfortable alone in the car. How does that sound?"

Harry's lips curved up to a smile. He grabbed a fork from the dish washer and sauntered to the dinner table. Harry thought that getting his license was the best thing that could ever happen to him. Scenes playing in his head of him driving around the city of London. Visiting places and meeting new people on the streets and taking his friends to football matches. "Sounds amazing." Anne giggled as she handed her and Harry a plate of Lasagna.

__________________________

Harry was an intelligent boy ever since he was born. He was always nice to the other kids on the block and there have never been a time where Harry was stuck in a garbage can. Everyone liked him even his mother's friends like him. They would give a peck on his cheek for being a good boy. His relationship with his sister, Gemma was almost as perfect as a bullseye. Once they would fight, Harry goes into his room with door shut and the lights out. He turns on his lamp and snatch a piece of paper from his drawer. Starts out writing Dear Gemma, and tells sorry and why he should be. He turns his lamp off and tip toe out of his room to Gemma's. Noticing she was sleeping so he places the letter on her desk and walks quietly out of her room. In the morning, Gemma would wake up to find Harry's letter at the edge of her desk. She grabs it and reads it, processing the written words. She jumps out of her bed only to find a six year old Harry eating pancakes on the floor, because he was too small to sit on the stool. Anne would wash the dishes, at the same time keep an eye on Harry. Gemma walks over to Harry giving him a hug and kissing his cheek. Harry wasn't baffled at all he knew the letter would come with some kind of meaning to it and a hug as well.

The day is half way over and Harry was a minute away from his home. He needed to wrap his gifts and he knew it will take some time. Harry was bad at wrapping gifts than Gemma. He was consist of tape stuck on his face and a ribbon tied around his head. He even made a mess with the wrapping paper. The guests in his house lies every year about how great his wrapping skills are. Harry feels he has gotten better or is a professional he would say. The black Range Rover stopped and shut down four feet away from the garage. Harry took the key out of the ignition slot and climbs out of the front seat, making his way to the back as he lifts the back hood. Bags hung on his arms as he slammed the hood close.

Harry unlocked the door and stumbled right in, dropping his items on the couch. Finally remembering to put the keys next to the door.

The holidays always seem to make Harry anxious. So many things need to get done and his to-do list seems to never end. Presents, cards, decorations, it's a lot to do. With a few days left until Christmas Harry is surprised he doesn't go through an annual hair loss due to the stress of it all but as they say, tis the season.

Harry passes through a large arch that enters into the kitchen, but Harry stops and look up to see a mistletoe. Wondering how that got there. He turned his body around as he focused on the jersey that he had bought. Something was getting strange and Harry didn't like it not one bit of it. A purple bruise on his forearm caught his eye, Harry's pad of his thumb pressed down on it and he winced. "I'm really feeling that you are actually here." He said to himself, easily said than done but he knew being confused would get him nowhere. Slowly, he tried to recall the time he found a bruise this morning. "Why are you hurting yourself? I got two bruises from you." Harry kept his thumb on the bruise as he rushed to the sink. Cold water was running and he ran his arm under it. Cold water isn't going to fix it as Harry thought it could be a burn.

A knock had been heard and Harry shut the water off before opening the front door. A man stood in uniform with a clipboard in his left hand and a box in his right. Harry forward his eyebrows as he looked up at the bloke. "Are you Harry Styles?" Harry nodded his head, "I need you to sign this please." the mail man handed his clipboard to Harry. He wrote down his name before giving it back. Harry took the box out of the man's hand before closing the door. Harry had no idea who it was from and what's inside but he doesn't hesitate to find out. Slowly peeling the tape off, the kind used for shipping, and setting it aside. He lifted one flap of the box before lifting the other; he reached inside and pulled out a cookbook, cookie cutters, and a small baggie full of sugar. Not a thought had come across Harry's mind to understand why he had receive these things. At the bottom of the box was a red envelope, with Harry written in neat handwritten. It must been from a girl, girls have the neatest handwriting than boys. Harry opened the envelope and pulled out a card. It was a Christmas card with a snowman in the middle with a blue background and white dots representing snow. He opened to find two bolded words and more handwritten words,

Happy Christmas, from Kylie.

Kylie was Harry's cousin, they were very close when they were younger but grew apart when Harry found out she and her family were moving to New York. Harry tried begging his mother if she will take him to New York over the summer, but Anne said no because there was no way she could afford the trip. Every weekend Harry goes up to the home phone dialing Kylie's number praying that she will pick up. And when she does she feels pity that she doesn't have enough time to talk. Harry wasn't familiar with the timezones and could hardly make out to be what time it is in New York while being here in Cheshire. When they do have time to talk Kylie tells Harry about Time Square and how wonderful it looks on New Years. Standing out in the cold for at least five hours maybe more or less and watching artist perform that Harry have never heard before. "When I get older and have a job I'll save enough money to go to Time Square with you on New Years." Harry say on one side of the telephone.

Unfortunately, the plan backfires. Harry's mother didn't want him to leave to another country. Anne wanted to spend New Year's Eve with Harry before he turns 19 in February. As the son of Anne he had to listen to her, he didn't want to let her down. Harry decided it was best to go down to London in a train to celebrate. Harry has a few friends down there, but they disconnected like a plug in an outlet. Harry used to be mad at one of them but his mind was so unfocused that he couldn't remember why he was. Because it's Harry, he can lose his temper at times when there isn't anything to be mad about. He lives alone with no one to help him, care for him, no one to say to say hello to when they walk right into the house. Harry thought it would be fine to live alone, but sometimes he wonders if someone else is doing the same so he wouldn't feel so alone after all. To cut to the chase, Harry has another half, a soulmate, a match, someone who belongs to him. Maybe the half had felt the same thing Harry is feeling. Sick, lonely and tired.

"I'm not lonely there is someone for me, someone who is just like...me." Harry paused for a moment before hastily walking to the house phone that stayed put on the wall. Harry dialing a number as he brought the phone up to his ear. Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kylie, it's me...Harry."

"Harry? I haven't heard your voice in so long, how are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm about to wrap some presents. Anyway I wanted to call because I got your gift and I wanted to tell you thank you."

"Oh you're welcome, I figured you still worked at that bakery so I got you that, but if you already have those things then you can use that at home."

"Alright I'll definitely do that." Harry felt like he caught his heart in his throat after not hearing his cousin's, not alone best friend's voice in so long. They had done so many things together when they were younger and Harry can remember almost everyone of them. He remember when they had their first kiss in the woods behind the house, but figured they didn't like the idea of incest. It would cause too many family problems; Harry definitely didn't want to be in the middle of it.

"Okay, good I guess I'll...talk to you another time."

"Yeah...another time." Harry played with the hem of his shirt.

"Bye Harry."

"Bye."

Harry dropped his head as he faced the floor, not wanting to look up. Harry didn't want to wait another long period of time to talk on the phone. He just wanted to meet Kylie, catch up with her life and bake pastries with her.

The presents and the dinner rushed back to Harry's mind before returning the home phone and getting the wrapping paper out of the bag. "Scissors, I need scissors." Harry told himself. Harry went back into the kitchen and dig through most of the drawers for scissors. Finding them at the back of one of the drawers. Harry usually plans out how he can wrap a present depending on the size of the gift. He started out with Gemma's and went to fold all of her shirts, bras and panties, stacking them on top of each other. Wrapping paper rolled out across the floor and the clothes sat in the middle. Harry estimated how much paper he was going to need before crossing over and taping corners. He knew it was going to take time to wrap all of the presents by himself. After he finished with Gemma's gift Harry jogged to one of his closets. Large hands lurked through to find a small gift bag and a large for his soulmate's gift.

Back by the sofa Harry placed his sister's present towards the bottom of the bag. Harry sighed before moving on, trying to figure out how he can wrap a basket and a candle. Harry shrugged it off and slowly set one of the candles inside the basket and the basket inside the little bag. Reaching over for Harry's stepdad's present and moving it to the middle of the decorated paper. How much paper does a big gift need? A lot. Eyeballing the kitchen set and the paper at the same time Harry got confused as to why his stepfather wanted a kitchen set. Forgetting about it his fingers spread across the paper and the scissors cut through a vertical straight line.

Less than ten minutes the kitchen set was set aside. The last thing Harry could ever do was take a nap but he has one more gift to wrap. He wanted to make it special for that special one. Heading back to the same closet Harry searched for bows from other gift bags and boxes. A red bow laid in the palm of Harry's hand and he held it tightly. Harry also wanted to write a letter so he searched for a envelope. The closet door was shut and Harry strolled to the kitchen to one of the drawers. Hunting for glue, piece of paper and a black pen. Sitting back by the sofa Harry squeezed a dot of glue onto the red ribbon while pressing it down on the bigger bag. Harry scooted over to the coffee table because he needed something hard to write on if he was going to write a letter. The pen had hardly touch the paper and Harry's hand was already shaking.

Dear, You

I don't usually write letters for people (You didn't know that before but now you do) but I'm writing it because I want it to be special...special for you. You don't know who I am and I don't know who you are but when we meet we'll at least know each other's name. I'm Harry and you are?

sincerely,

Harry

Harry folded the paper and placed it in the envelope, tongue going over the top of the flap and being stuck down. He sighed to himself and sat back to relax while his green eyes were gazing up at the clock. "I don't have much time, I need to take a shower and get dressed." Harry stood up from the floor, he couldn't believe how numb his feet felt.

His converse scraped across the tiled floor in the bathroom. The white and yellow tee was pulled over his head and jeans sliding down his legs to his ankles. Harry looked at himself in the mirror and noticed a rash on his left arm. "What are you doing to yourself?" Fingertips caressed over the red blotch before turning the shower head on. Harry stepped inside and felt the steaming water on the floor of the bathtub. Harry thought of how long it's going to take till he meets him. He also thought what if he wasn't going to meet him. What if he got in a tragic accident and Harry had no idea? What if he found someone else? He has to be for Harry. Bruises was the only clue that his match is out there and apparently getting hurt a lot. Thinking that your match was being hurt wasn't a good imagination for Harry. Harry wanted him to be healthy and happy just like every couple should be. Harry's heart beat races as he focuses more on this person that he is bound to be with. Gemma is the only person Harry ever told and when he goes to the dinner he hopes she wouldn't say anything.

The water stopped falling on Harry but the droplets in his hair still fell. Harry squeezed the extra water from his hair before reaching for the towel. The towel drying over his skin on his cheek made him have little flecks. As Harry continued to dry himself off the doorbell rung. "Damn it who could that be?" Harry let the soft material hugged around his waist. Feet padded against the floor to the front door where as green eyes peered down to a 2 inch smaller girl.

"Gemma? What are you doing here? I was suppose to meet you over at Mum's."

"I know but I wanted to come over here and check on you."

Harry stepped aside to let Gemma come inside.

"I'm fantastic, thanks." He said while closing the door. "Like it?" Harry says, leading her to the sofa and sitting on the edge. Gemma nods and sits next to him, their hips a hand's width apart, and Harry leans back on his elbows and tosses his head at the ceiling. "I still need to paint it but I haven't decided what colour."

"So, soulmate." Gemma mindlessly bringing up Harry's heart-wrenching topic.

Harry's chest starts to pound, face getting hotter as the seconds pass, and he's not quite sure how to respond, didn't really see it coming and it's like he's momentarily lost the ability to speak, and he clears his throat and tries to calm his breathing. Gemma just smiles, having an idea of what might be going on in Harry's mind. "I'm not prepared to meet him, I'm not even sure if he will like me." He adjusted his towel after noticing it was going to slip off of him. He looked at his older sister then to the floor of the main room. 

"Don't say that I'm sure he will love you, I mean he's your match. I bet he's thinking about you right now." Gemma rested her palm on Harry's wet shoulder. 

"I know but I also bought him a gift and I just really hope he likes it." Harry flattened out the towel that laid across his lap and around his waist.

"What did you get?" 

"A jersey, a Derby Rams jersey."

"Oh that's nice." Gemma twirled a strand of her hair around the index finger. Harry nodded his head. Harry had a bit of regret flowing through his body as he kept asking himself, would he like it? Harry didn't know the answer and doesn't know when he will get his final answer. He feels worry more than concern as he wants to know if his match is okay. The bruises and rash on his arm was still there, didn't know when it will heal and go away. The saying that kisses heals boo-boos made Harry want to kiss all over his match's body to make him feel all better. A kiss was more to feel a sensation than have a magical power to heal anything in a person's body. Harry wasn't sure if he should kiss his soulmate when he meets him. What if he declines and runs away? What if he says he's dating someone else? What if he says he doesn't kiss on the first date? What if questions were the only things on Harry's mind.

"Harry? Did you hear me? I said I'm going to Mum's" Gemma stood in front of Harry as she snapped her fingers together.

"Sorry, I'll see you in a bit." Harry stood up from the sofa and walked Gemma to the front door while his fingers curled around his towel.

 

*

 

The soft fabric material hung low around Harry's neck as he brought the shirt down to his waist. A warm yet at the same time freezing shivers channeled throughout Harry's body, flooding every vein and invading every artery, etching itself in deeper. "I'm so cold, don't tell me you jumped in a lake." A pair of black jeans ripped at the knees were pulled up to his waist and a jacket slung to his shoulder. The same converses were slipped on each foot, tying the shoe lace tight. He stood as he arched his back stretching his arms multiple directions. He wasn't ready to meet up with his parents and have unexpected questions fired at him about his match. It put him in a tough situation and no way to get out of it but to the truth and move on. He always felt bad holding things back. Scenarios played in Harry's head of how the dinner would go if it was brought up. 

Harry has a soft heart and is very sensitive. He would always excuse himself when there is a controversial argument going around. He's afraid someone would talk bad about his match. It was already worse when Harry told his stepfather that he had a thing with guys. Harry knew every detail of that day and he still had a hard time to take it all in. The screaming and banging on the walls was getting louder while neighbors complained about the noise. Harry's room was trashed with clothes all over the floor and his lamp was shattered to pieces scattering everywhere. Not only was it worse at home but at school as well. Much bigger guys always purposely bump into him in the hallways and pull small pranks. 

What if they think I'm crazy and tell me I don't really have a match, Harry thought. Harry sat at the edge of his mattress while fiddling with the digits of his hands. What could be the best way to tell them? Harry stood up from the bed and strolled to the living room while picking up the presents and grabbing the keys by the front door. He opened the door, locking it first before shutting it behind him. As Harry climbed into his Range Rover he sat there and wait, but he wasn't actually waiting he was thinking, thinking of how dishonorable he could be. He put the key into the ignition before starting the vehicle back up. Harry payed most of his attention on the road as cars passed by. Nothing was more disturbing than the sound of the wind and the honking coming from the sides. The windows were rolled up to block the noise from outside. 

As Harry reached his mother's house he noticed a few cars in the driveway, immediately sees Gemma's car. The Range Rover came to a halt at the side of the house. The palm of Harry's hand pressed against the car door while the other hand is pulling on the door handle. Feet landed on a white blanket that covered every inch of the ground. Harry should've brought his coat he knew it was snowing and going to be cold. Harry looked up at the house and saw that the lights were on and the shadows moving behind the curtains. Lets hope for the best, he thought before scooping up the gifts from the passenger's seat. The car door was closed and Harry made his way up to the porch. The house was built on a hill so Harry felt like he was marching up the stairs. His index finger pressed down on the door bell as he waited for someone to open the door and make a response.

The glass door was opened and Harry lifted his head to see his mother stand before him. "Harry, come inside its getting cold." Anne stepped to one side to make room for him to come in. "You can set those gifts under the tree over there." She pointed to the large, green pine tree sitting still in the corner with gifts that had a wide variety of different wrapping paper laying down under. Harry mumbled a thank you before walking over to the large area of space. The furniture was set up differently than the last time Harry saw it. The Perry Chocolate sofa was against the wall by the stairs and the reclining chair was by the dinner table. Harry stepped in front of the presents and carefully laid his down on top of each other.

"Hey brother." Harry quickly turn around to see Gemma towering over him. Harry loves his sister dearly but he fears this night because of her. Felt like he would be walked all over by an army of his sister. Harry didn't reply back instead brought his finger to his lips, indicating to be quiet. Gemma nods her head before walking away. "Are the others coming?" Gemma asked as she set the table with the red plates.

"They are on their way." Harry hears Anne say. After a minute has pass Harry heard the toilet being flushed and a large man walked out. He wore a red button up shirt and black jeans that seem a little small. He had a little bit of stubble going on and Harry could see the crinkles around his eyes behind his eyewear.

"Harry? When did you get here?" He asked.

"Just a few minutes ago." He replied. Robin, Harry's stepfather nodded his head before heading to the dinner table. Harry recalled the night when he stumbled upon an argument with Robin about his sexuality. Robin could break every bone in Harry's body, crush his heart into a billion pieces, and toss him aside like he's a pebble. Harry on the other hand he isn't harmful, he wouldn't dare hurt anyone. Everyone has feelings and it's hard for them to stop crying then and there. Sometimes Harry told himself of how he felt like a burden but no one would make him understand differently. Harry felt a surge of anxiety about the imminent event. His ragged breathing was hard to control because of his surroundings. 

"Harry, baby are you okay?" Anne sounded distant to Harry, he couldn't tell if she was actually talking to him. Before Anne repeated her question the doorbell rang. A few relatives came inside only to encounter Harry sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. Harry heard whispering from behind.

"Leave him alone, he probably had a rough day. Harry, would you like to join the dinner table with us?" Everyone stared at him blankly while he sat there frozen.

"I-uh...sure." Harry hesitated before pushing himself off the floor. He pulled out a chair for himself and sat next to Gemma. Harry grabbed a plate from nearby and scooped up a handful of pork cassoulet into his dish and picking up a crumpet as a appetizer. He also poured out a glass of tea to calm him down a bit. Harry has never been this nervous considering he nearly had a panic attack. His throat is dry and his skin is damp from nervous sweat. Unruly chestnut hair fell in his eyes. He could feel his pounding heart in his chest.

"So Harry, what have you been up to?" 

He snapped his head up to meet his mother's gaze. Also meeting other eyes that were apprentice shooting bullets to his chest. "Nothing much, my boss finally gave me a break but it won't last long." Harry stare down at his main dish, pushing a few carrots to one side of the plate. 

"That's nice, gives you some time to sleep in." Harry nodded at the response before she continued, "Anything else?" Harry stayed silent as he looked down to his converses. Throbbing pain in his chest could be felt but he spoke up anyway. 

"I have a soul mate." He says.

"Really? Oh Harry who is it?" Anne took a sip of her tea as she congratulated him. "Robin aren't you going to say something?" Robin sighed to himself as he tossed a fork onto to the table.

"I honestly think this is bullshit."

"But." Harry interrupted.

"Oh come on, I can't believe you still believe in that shit Harry." Harry closed his eyes willing himself to keep calm and not get defensive. He takes a breath, running a hand through his hair. "Do you really expect a whiny boy coming after you?" He says harshly, a vein throbbing in his neck. A tear drop trailed down on the side of Harry's nose, landing and staining his jeans. "No bruises appeared on my skin when I met your mother." Robin stood up and moved from his chair to stand next to Harry, "You're worthless at heart, don't understand why you're not on the streets." Robin mumbles his last few words but Harry heard him loud and clear. Harry's heart rate quicken as he hastily stand to his feet. 

"You're wrong! I deserve to be with someone, what makes you say I'm worthless? I achieved more than your drunk arse will ever do." Robin turned around to face the bloke known as his step-son.

"You're worthless because you're weeping in my house like a nine year old girl. Now get the fuck out of my house you weeping girl." Harry took the opportunity to hit Robin hard in the face. Anne's hands flew up to her mouth in shock. Harry pushed Robin up against the wall as he took another fist to his face. A frown crossed Harry's features as he watched Anne sprint up to them. When she reached them her arms were roughly tugging on Harry's shirt to pull him back. Gemma watched the two fumble, desperately looking to Harry; his jaw tight with anger. Harry pushed Anne back before his attention diverted back to Robin, who was coughing up a bit of spit. That was until Harry witnessed Robin's clenched fist pound into Harry's stomach. A grunt was forced from his parted lips, his body bent over slightly as he clutched his abdomen. 

Harry shoved Robin off the wall, Robin stumbling forward to try and get to Harry but Harry beat him first and threw multiple punches. "You piece of shit fuck you, fuck you you piece of shit." Harry's breathing was fast but at least it had managed to prevent him from throwing another hit to the staggering man. Harry took a few deep breathes, he could hear the ragged breathing of his stepfather on the floor by the kitchen.

"Harry you need to leave." He heard Anne say.

"And what? Have him get away with it again? He nearly decapitated me when I told him I was gay. He's heartless, a stone-head and a monster. All he would care about is me being dead in an alley." He sternly told her, "He doesn't know how I feel about this. About how I am in love with a guy out there who feels the same way about me." Harry focus stayed fixed on his mother until he was sure Robin had given up. Anne caught hold of his chin, tilting it to get a better look at his injuries. Harry's swollen bottom lip had been split open, his tongue licking over it. The small cut just above his left eyebrow oozed blood. His gaze never left her face as she sighed and shook her head.

"You should leave, its better for the both of you." Harry reach behind his back, his long fingers digging round in his back pocket before he retrieved his keys. He doesn't understand, but he does know that Robin will do it again. Step on his heart like its a cigarette that had been suffocating his lungs. "Harry you need to go." Harry sighed.

"Fine, but tell that bastard he's wasting my time and that I hope he has a very nice Christmas." Harry's head diverted towards Robin, who was laying helplessly on the floor. His right eye was swollen and his glasses were cracked at the lens. He watched Gemma cleaned the red liquid off his face with a damp towel. Harry didn't regret every hit towards Robin. He waited so long to do it. His teary green eyes met again with his mother's before walking towards the door. 

"Wait, Harry." He heard a voice after stepping outside to the porch. Gemma held up a few wrapped boxes in her hands. "You don't want to leave without any gifts to take home." Harry took them out of her hands before heading down to his vehicle. The gifts were seated on the passenger's side as Harry got into the driver's side. He stayed silent for a few seconds, looking down at his pink blemish hands. 

"Fuck." He softly spoke.

Harry sighed, igniting the engine and pulling the vehicle on the road again. The car moving forward as a result leaving the head pounding, drilling state having it to wake himself up. A chilly gust gently meandering around Harry, keeping him under the merely cloud to appear on the horizon was Harry's unexpected illness. In the view the fact that the windows were all bunged up with the fog of the cold air swirling around. The warmth producing from the vehicle's mild radiator wasn't there to do what it's suppose to do, engulf. Counting down the seconds for the arrival of Harry's destination. The car took a slow turn right, forcing him to look in directions of the narrow road he was currently on incase danger was upon. Driving at night was like a wake-up call, it puts Harry back into reality realizing that the significance of death wasn't there. For life it's so much more, get one chance and get one crack at it to make it right.

Chuckling slightly, Harry leaned down to unbuckle his seat belt. Once done, he quickly hopped out of the automobile. He twisted around, shutting the door behind him. Harry jogged his way around and presently after, padding up the front porch. The door was opened and the keys were tossed onto the lounge. Harry wiped his eyes with the laurel wreaths of his hands; he was exhausted. Before he could lay down along the sofa there was a knock at the door. Harry quickly turned about as another knock sounded. He opened the door and a large man stood in the doorway. "Hello, can I assist you?"

"Yes you can, I'm looking for a boy who appears he could be probably close to your age. He ran off from his father's house. His name is Niall Horan. He has blond hair, a little curly. He's about 5'7 inches and he's wearing a white shirt with black stripes, dark skinny jeans and brown boots." The officer alleged.

"Why did he run away?" Harry asked.

"Who knows, he hightailed many times before. I just believe he's insane."

"Does he live close to here? I can keep an eye out to ascertain if he'll come home."

"No, he lives on the other side of town. I have just been going around each neighborhood to obtain him. That boy has probably went miles away."

"Oh, well, good luck finding him. Have a safe night, sir." Harry waved the officer goodbye before shutting the door and locking it. 

Harry thought, why exactly would that boy run away. Did he have an argument with a parent? Was everyone treating him so badly? Was he being threatened? Did he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to be alone? Too many questions but very little answers. The ticking of the wall clock sounded indicating that it was time to lay down and fall asleep. There wasn't work tomorrow so Harry was pleased to get a little more sleep and feel a little comfortable in bed. Before he walking to his room the gift lying faced up on the sofa caught his attention. "Why haven't I found you yet?" He asked himself. Harry grabbed the bag and took it to his room. It was placed on the nightstand beside his bed with the lamp on that caused a shadow to cast from the bag. Harry stretched out his back before pulling the sleeves of his sweater. The soft material was tugged off Harry's back and picked a temporary spot on the floor. Jeans fell to the bulky part of his feet. Harry kicked it off his toes and then he was left alone standing in his briefs. 

Harry could hardly keep his eyes open knowing that sleep can take him down under. The nape of his neck softly laid down at one part of the pillow, and his head rested on the cushion that supported his head and neck. Eyes closed immediately. What Harry liked about sleep was that no one can get to him. Feel oblivious to everything around him. No worries at all and not even a slight pinch of discomfort unless it's the mattress of course. On the less positive side is interruptions, sickness and noises. Harry knows it's not fun waking up to indescribable noises coming from outside or inside the house. 

Harry fell into a periodic state of rest in which the consciousness of the world is suspended. Soon mental images appear and imaginative thoughts indulged. Harry felt like he was in a fantasy. He was in a relaxed comfortable feeling while abstractions took over his mind. It was nothing more than being guided by ideals than practical considerations.

The unrealistic fantasy started out in a car ride coming from Harry's point of view. Sat next to him was another guy, but he couldn't see his face. All he saw was the boy fiddling with his fingers before taking hold of Harry's left hand while Harry drives with one hand. "Where are we going?" The boy's voice nearly sounded slurred. 

Harry's deep chuckle sounded, "A friend's house." 

The boy seemed happy with the new information as he settled back down in the seat. Harry smiled as he looked at the boy through the corner of his left eye. 

Quickly Harry retreats into another universe of fantasy and self-delusion. The same boy was now sitting down in a chair at a library in front of Harry. Harry couldn't see his facial expression because a book was passing over the boy's features. The auditory sensation of turning pages would be heard every few minutes. Harry carefully reads his book and getting the idea of what is materializing in the published composition. "Harry, I genuinely like this book I'm going to get it."

"All right, you can use that library card I got you. Simply remember that it's not yours to keep, you have to bring it back when you're finished." He said without looking up. 

The boy smiled as he got up to go to the check out line. He waited until it was his turn. "Harry, babe, let's go I want to go home. You have been staring at that thing like it's the solitary thing you have left." The book was contracted out of Harry's hands and out of reach. 

"Sorry, it's very interesting." 

"What's it about?" The boy and Harry walked back up to the checkout line again so Harry can get his book. 

"It's called Far From You, It's about this girl who has survived a car accident at a youthful age and when she gets older she got into another incident, but her friend got murdered so she is searching for whoever killed her friend." Harry explained as he got his book checked out.

"That sounds sad, I got Eleanor and Park. It's about these two adolescents in high school who fall in love. How it's written is a little unusual, but I think it's great." 

"I'm glad you found something fascinating." Harry entwined his fingers with the bloke as they walked outside. 

The result of the unfamiliar event transformed.

"You're so silly." Harry laughed at the bloke with the rumpled flaxen hair who had his back facing Harry. "Here, let me get you out of that shirt so you can try something else on." Harry played with the hem of the white silky button up before lifting it up. The boy helped as well as he slipped his head out from underneath. The button up did looked immensely alluring on him. The boy had a delicate edge evermore fragile than anyone else. "You know, I could see you wearing this if you had a business job and you go to meetings and talk about finances." Harry gathered up the other clothes as the boy slid his jacket on. 

"I would've never met you if I did. Come on they're waiting on us." Harry nod his head. The door of the changing room opened and Alexa and Matt stood before them. "Were you guys eavesdropping on us?" The lad asked. Alexa nod. "That's very rude. Come Harry lets leave them." He joked. Harry chuckled before following the cerulean-eyed boy. The still unfamiliar boy took out his debt card and handed it to Harry because he hasn't learned how to pay for his own things. "Maybe when we get back in town I can get my own debt card with real money. This Visa gift card needs a refill." He heard Harry say a maybe but ignored it as he watched the white button up be payed for. 

The boy walked off to walk with Alexa as Harry found Matt by the water fountains. "He doesn't want to grow up." Harry spoke first. 

"He does, He's just not ready to do things on his own." 

"He's getting the hang of it, I mean we live together I'm always going to say 'babe I'm home'. I let him have his free time, do what he wants until he starts to realize that we are partners, and as partners we don't treat each other like father and son." 

"So, what you're saying is you want him to handle things as an individual while also loving you like a couple do. Right?" Matt watched Harry's partner laugh and walk around the vast area. 

"Yeah, I didn't do anything to get him to be comfortable with me. I kissed him first and he kissed back, immediately." Harry said but was then interrupted by the boy. 

"Harry, would you hold my hand?" 

"Of course." Harry did as the boy wished.

***

 

Harry woke up suddenly feeling ill without an explanation. He didn't know whether it was food poisoning or a cold. Gemma came by to check on him as usual; she cooked Harry's favorite soup and poured a glass cup of low-fat milk. "I hope you feel better soon, Harry. Here, let me check your temperature." Gemma pried open a drawer and a measuring instrument came out. Harry's chin was held between two small fingers as the thermometer was placed under his tongue. They waited until there was a soft beep. Gemma took the thermometer out of Harry's mouth, "You do have a cold, you have an inadequate temperature." Harry groaned.

"I can't breathe, first I get a runny nose and then the next thing I know it's stuffy." Harry's deep voice sounded croaky. Harry slumped back down into the sofa as he brought the cover to his chin. Emerald eyes closed shut as he made a breathy snore. "I would go to the doctors, but I don't have insurance and I'm sure I don't have the money to pay." His eyes still remained closed while he continued, "Gemma, give me my soup." Gemma passed a spoon and the digestible food to Harry. He softly devoured the soupy substance until he had enough. "I'm going into a deep sleep." He said as he set the half empty bowl on the coffee table.

"I'm going to stay here until you wake up." Harry didn't respond but instead fell fast asleep. Gemma sighed as she stood up from the sofa and she left the room with a springy step. The thin was still and cold. Gemma stepped into Harry's room that was clean and spotless. The bed was already made, the floor have been vacuumed, the nightstand was wiped off although the gift caught Gemma's eye. She went back into the hallway to see if Harry was still asleep before picking up the gift. An envelope sat on top without a name and that made Gemma more curious. She didn't want to wander around too much through other people's things, but the envelope was the only thing on her mind. 

"Gemma? What are you doing?" Gemma quickly twisted her body to face her younger brother. Harry's eyes met Gemma's for a moment, speculating her; scrutinizing her.

"Harry, I-uh same applies to you, what are you doing?" Gemma stuttered.

"I was wondering where you were. Why do you have my gift?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he waited for a response.

"I-don't know what you're talking about." She lied.

"Yes, you do, it's right there in your hands."

"Harry, you're sick, go back to the sofa." 

Harry shook his head as he walked towards Gemma, taking the gift from her hands and placing it back on the nightstand. "I suggest you should leave." The same croaky voice spoke.

"I will not do that, who's going to take care of you?" 

"Myself, now leave." Harry said harshly.

Gemma pursed her lips before walking out of Harry's room. Obviously, feeling completely annoyed about the fact that Harry demanded her to leave. The world is dark and wet now that afternoon has fallen; rain cascades down relentlessly, washing away the joy people had held. Harry was overcome with grief. Harry walked over to the window and pulled out the chair that was sitting in the corner. He rests against the armrest of his rocking chair, closes his eyes, and takes in the tranquil sound that is the rain. Harry exhales through his mouth before blinking his eyes back open. "I'm such shit," He admits, sitting up a little. Harry harrumphs in his seat, crossing his arms. He's been so caught up in finding his soulmate and being frustrated that he is now just realizing he's pushing everyone away. 

"I want to find you, I'm tired of living alone." Harry was interrupted by a knock on the door. Harry walked heavily to the front door. What appears in the doorway is a man. 

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for my son. Have you seen him?" His voice is ragged, strong, stable, but is lacking its normal air of superiority.

"Do you have a picture of him?" Harry huffs out 

"Shit, no, sorry his name is Niall Horan have you heard of him?"

"A cop came by yesterday and mentioned his name but I don't know him, sorry. Have a good day, sir."

"All right, you too." Then he left.

Everyone seems so worried over the boy. Harry wanted to know where he ran off to and why he ran off, but that seems like it's everyone's question of the day. His name has not left Harry's mind since yesterday; Niall Horan. Harry was told that he ran off many times before and he wanted to know how his brain works. Running off just seems like the one being chased, but there wasn't anyone coming after him or her. Being chase is a whole different story compare to running away. Its not likely for someone to go missing when everyone else is worried sick. Niall's father seemed terrified and petrified. 

Usually when someone goes missing and haven't been found its called dead. When someone goes missing and another goes after its called a manhunt. Also when someone leaves but can still be found by someone going after them its called a chase. This Niall boy is in a manhunt situation. Harry had no idea if the boy even wanted to be found. Must be starving, or sick or heartbroken, Harry thought. 

Harry remembered the time when Gemma tried to run away when Harry was just a little boy, about two or three years old.  
_________________________

"Isn't he the cutest?" Anne combed Harry's hair with her fingers. Anne placed the little boy onto the floor where he sat there having no clue what is going on. He makes laughing noises randomly and puckers up his red, wet lips. "I need a towel he has slobber all over his mouth." Anne laughed, "Karen, could you please go to the closet and get me a towel, it's the first door on the left. Thank you."

"Anne, when is Alice and Kiely coming over, it's almost time to eat." Des spoke.

"They should be here in a few. Harry did you hear that Kiely is coming over." Harry played with his toes and made baby noises.

Karen came back with a small towel in her hands as she handed it to Anne. Anne wiped up the slobber that drooled out of Harry's mouth. Harry took hold of the towel and tried fitting it in his mouth but made a fail attempt. "I don't understand why babies feel the need to put things in their mouth." Anne continued, "I would give him his teether but the dog got ahold of it." Harry begin to laugh as Des made a few funny faces and again slobber drooled out. Des took the towel away from Harry and wiped Harry's mouth. Before Anne could say something there was a knock at the door. "They're here!" Anne lift herself up from the floor and her feet padded against the hard wood floor all the way to the front door. 

The door was swung open and Alice and a little baby girl known as Kiely, who was being carried in the hands of her mother appeared in the doorway. "Hello." Alice said. Anne welcomed the two in. Alice walked to the living room and sat Kiely next to Harry. "I didn't think I would make it there was some contraction on the highway." Alice placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh yeah? I usually take a short cut, come here through the back way." Des interrupted.

Alice nodded her head, "Where's Gemma? Is she hiding?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen her." Anne shook her head.

Suddenly the front door closed shut. Everyone turned their heads to the front door except Harry, who was busy stuffing the towel in his mouth. "She's probably outside. Anne said as she walked up to the door. She opened and saw Gemma going down the steps. "Gemma? What are you doing honey, we're about to have dinner."

"I'm running away, leave me alone."

"Why?"

"Because everybody cares about Harry more than me." Gemma crossed her arms against her chest. 

"Oh, no. Me and Des care about you both equally. You know when there is a new family member you have to take a lot of care for him or her. I did the same with you. Now come on, pick up that bag and get inside. Its going to get cold soon." Gemma groaned and tilt her head back before grabbing her bag from the steps and marching passed her mother.

_________________________

Harry leaned his elbows against the sink while staring at the keys by the door. Wasn't sure if he should take contact and head out of the house. Feeling anxious about the boy, if God knows he'll be back. Harry wasn't having it, not fond about engaging with another pedestrian looking their loved one. A walk at night through the dark and wet streets could come with an eraser for the formation of opinions and ideas to one's self. With that Harry reached for the keys and walked out of his home and locking it. Harry was shame he couldn't help anyone out with little information that could lead to a big step. Nights carry on day by dad giving everyone enough time to find whoever they were searching for. 

It was pouring outside and Harry immediately got soaked from his porch to the end of the driveway. Looking from right to left Harry went left. Street lights were already lit up which Harry didn't mind, he'll still walk even if the power was out. The vicinity of the street was very small, seemed like only one vehicle could drive through it. The wet pavement gave off a reflection while light was casting down on it. The wind was strong and large drops of rain showered as it flooded the ground by not even a millimeter. Because it was so dark and lonely it made Harry want to go down to London. Watch the busy roads, pedestrians walking in large groups and listen to the music coming from clubs and such.

Harry wanted to get all the physical reassurance he could get. Not from anyone. Wanted to have an interaction but not with anyone. Beliefs where he can prepare to fight for. Have an intense feeling of longing for someone else but not with anyone else but for one. Harry hasn't felt anything but grief. Every time he would try to hide he fails and he receives the same question everybody has been asking, what's wrong? 

You know damn too well what's wrong.

Harry couldn't lie he knew the whole world is full of lies and he doesn't want that around he thought it wasn't nice. Seems like everybody wanted an explanation to everything that was possible to happen. Everything just doesn't make sense. The only thing that does make sense is the view people have on a specific subject that has the ability to burn into their skin. Love was an exquisite form of self-destruction. Heartbreaks happen, stabbing of the back happens, no reason why happens. What makes you think that hurting someone or yourself can get you anywhere? Harry thought. Irrelevant words don't stand up to what people actually feel, they confuse them. The ones that are heartbroken has someone that is the reason for their downward spiral. They fell in love without a warning for the raging storms inside of the other. They are just selfish. Seems like the only thing anybody can do is apologize for being worst and not giving more. Seems like everybody wants to die in dust. 

An unrealistic relationship is a waste of time; everything feels fake and pointless. The heart fades away to nothing because it is breaking. I fear the day I'll be heartbroken. 

The street lights stayed lit while Harry continued to walk on the pavement. The rain continued to fall hard to the ground, large droplets fell and small droplets fell. A nostalgic wind blew on Harry's skin and rustling the leaves nearby that flew away with the wind. Harry exhaled air on to hands as he can feel they are getting numb. He placed them in his coat pockets. At a night like this where it's in the winter and rain falling Harry's fears were shedding. No one was outside but him all the pedestrians stayed inside where the fireplace kept them warm. Harry doesn't have a fireplace only radiant heating in the floors, but it's usually cold in his home because the sun doesn't come out as often. 

Harry thought about going back inside but he changed his mind and wanted to stay out a little longer. A few houses down the road had their Christmas lights on. Harry thought the decorations looked beautiful. Harry didn't really have any decorations for his home during any kind of holiday. Except the mistletoe of course. It's useless, no one will come around and give Harry a kiss. He craved for someone to kiss him on the lips and give him a feeling that is new. 

"Hey Harry!" A voice made Harry suddenly stop walking. "I'm sorry to bug you, I know how you are not very fond of being encountered by others. I'm not either, all these salesmen coming up to my door. The police knocking on my door asking if I seen a boy anywhere. Of course I said no."

"Liam, just get to the point already." Harry was a bit annoyed. He didn't really like Liam as much as the neighborhood did. He was a bit too enthusiastic about things, always wide awake and happy when getting out of bed. Harry did wish he was like that, but he knew he couldn't handle getting up before eight in the morning. 

"I was wanting to know if you like this, I been selling some decorations online but a few of them weren't selling very well. So, I thought I might as well give it away in the neighborhood." Liam gave Harry a small box of Christmas ornaments with four inside. They were red with small and large whit dots all over them. 

"I don't have a Christmas tree." Liam mouthed a oh before telling Harry to give him a second. Harry stood still on the driveway coughing and sneezing. He tried to warm up his hands but it was no use, the strong wind swiftly moves by as it breathes on his fingers. Liam came back, but he was trying to keep his balance on his icy driveway. 

"I have this one, it's small though. You live alone so it will work for you." Harry looked unhappy- not by the tree but by Liam pointing out that Harry was alone- Harry knew he couldn't just drag someone to live with him. Loneliness courses through his veins and then it hits him. The horrifying truth of being alone. Everyone is not defined by another person and it doesn't matter who you are with but Harry feels the violent slowly pull of loneliness. It shakes inside of him like at wild beast ready to come out at night. Harry couldn't bare the pain, he shatters like glass. He appears to be transparent and dull while others are shiny and gold 

The feeling of solitude has made Harry exhausted, he could hardly shut his eyes and fall asleep during some nights. He would try to play music from his phone and inhale through his nose and exhale from his mouth to make it easier for him to sleep. It didn't work. Tears begin to brim from his waterline. "I'm sorry Harry, did I say something wrong?" Harry wiped away his tears with his numb fingers. "I've never felt so alone as I do right now." Harry coughed a few times to clear out his throat. "I'm sorry, I'll take that off your hands. Liam subconsciously handed the small Christmas tree to Harry before patting the back of Harry's shoulder. 

"Have a goodnight, Harry."

Just when the night got any darker Harry turned around to walk back to his house. Freezing rain struck the brown coat Harry was wearing. The wind carried silence, but that wasn't what Harry heard. Tears poised on his eyelashes again. Harry knew himself very well that he was afraid to talk about being lonely. He's broken because he's alone. Harry didn't understand that people can use his flaw against him. Harry is always hating himself, always having a feeling of isolation. The loneliness that he has is the sour shadow that creeps into his corners in his head when he's doubting something. This hand spun state of being is a monster. Suicidal thoughts and grief blur into one known as depression. Although Harry has never sense any depression before just the feeling of losing someone he never really had. 

All that Harry wants is to be wanted by someone else and find the arms to be wrapped around with. He craves someone's hands clutching to his face, pressed up against his waist, their lips chasing his. Harry wants the fire shooting down his spine magnetically intertwined. Harry wants the feeling of a shared affinity being lost in a passion beating so vividly of having a place to escape and be free where that other made him feel special and happy to be him. Everyone says that love isn't a word it's part of you, but there wasn't anything part of Harry. Not yet. No one will ever love me, maybe I could just write about my feelings and dreams and they can go away. Write about my worst nightmares or my most fantastical dreams and wait for you. Wait for you to vanquish my nightmares and fulfill my wildest dreams. Then maybe I could write about you. Harry wants someone to pick him up from the shards of his life of pain and misery and let him give that someone the love they deserve, unconditionally. 

What happens when you fall in love and then it fades away? When it's gone, is it hidden under things? Or does it ever even go away? Does it hide in the heart in the morning and throughout the night? Or does love evaporate? Harry wouldn't never know the answer it's not like he can give out a random one. Harry may be in love with someone he has never met or even communicate with but he doesn't exactly understand it. Love is that heart-fluttering elation, that feeling of constantly wanting to swirl around and prance, to jump for joy and dance. It's that exhilarating euphoria, that sensation of lightness, of floating on air. I want to be loved and understood. 

Harry was almost home just a few houses to pass before he's at the end of the driveway. "I can't wait to meet you, I won't forget it when I do." Harry said as he stuffed his right hand into his pocket while the other carried the ornaments and tree. "I can't wait to say your name, it would feel as if I said it a thousand times." Harry sneezed, "I can't wait to see your smile. Maybe it'll be like how I pictured it. I can't wait to learn about you, but I could guess a million things and they would be right." His eyes were closed shut. "I can't wait to feel you in my arms, I don't want to feel isolated anymore." Harry took a deep breath before he exhaled. This feeling of just being weak clashes against him. He doesn't exactly know how long this feeling will control him. There is a soulmate out there, two human beings firstly made of stardust and Harry wants to be more than a speck of dust in his soulmate's galaxy. 

"You wouldn't believe it but before we were born we made our first interaction together. I think I might've said your name too." Harry smiled to himself. Soulmate's are just two pairs of atoms that were very close to each other, but slowly separated as the earth evolved. "I don't understand why I wasn't with you, like I'm not even with you right now." Harry shook his head with his head facing down. "You're so far away, yet you seem so close." Absurd to think that Harry's soul has been searching aimlessly for his soulmate through all of his eternities. Animated lightning crackling through the night sky, shades of gray match in the deafening silence. Harry could see the sky falling and he hears the clouds roaring. The lightning stretched itself in sheets across the sky as Harry reaches his driveway. Thunder booms and his chest pounds to keep up with its rhythm. The drenching, pouring rain pounds the ground, filling the sound of silence. 

Silence was such a peaceful solitude until a deafening storm comes about and a light streaking across the sky. Usually children feel safe and untouched under blankets when booms erupted out of nowhere. They are afraid because they see chaos in them and so they wait for them to pass. Harry didn't mind storms he thought it was the perfect background sound to fall asleep to. Harry feels that he escapes but he is always tossing and turning on his large bed. Once Harry was told that when a storm happens it means the angels are unhappy and are crying. He understands now that when the night falls, storm clouds roll in, with darkness all surrounds. Lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and rain starts pouring down. The world is devoid of light.

Harry walked up to his front door trying to grab his keys from his pocket, but he couldn't feel his fingers. It feels like his hands were stinging when he would touch an object. Harry pulled out his keys but he was shaking so much he nearly dropped them. Harry unlocked the door and stepped inside before locking the door back up. The ornaments and the small tree sat on the countertops along with the keys. Harry rubbed his cold hands together trying to cause some kind of warmth. The thunder from outside became much more quieter than it was a couple minutes ago. Harry's hands wasn't as shaky anymore but his breathing was still rapid. Catch it, catch it catch it. His breathing slowed down and he felt much more calm and relaxed. That was until he sneezed.

A box of tissues sat in the middle of the coffee table where Harry picked a couple. He didn't like being sick with that scratchy feeling in his throat and that strange cold chill in his bones. He could cough and cough and his cold won't ever unless he has the right treatment.

Harry took off his coat and kicked off his shoes and set them by the door. The first thing that came to his mind was sleep, he was tired but he didn't bother to look what time it was. Eyes were feeling droopy and he knew he had to go to bed at one point. His feet dragged him to bed as he pushed the covers back for him to slide in then covering his whole body. His fingers pushed his curly brown hair but struggled through the tangles in his hair, sleep calls to his swollen eyes. His heart, soul and mind all begin to rest.

This windy early morning with heavy clouds. Shaken trees such as toys, despite its size. Clouds glide forming numerous abstract images. Wind intense noise silences any other sound. It's a sunrise, very different than usual. The atmosphere seems to be angry wild, vindictive. Everything culminates with heavy rain thrown into the soil. Then clouds pass wind dissipates, back the silence. Waterlogged ground covered with leaves single proof. As usual the light from outside shines in Harry's eyes. He's always telling himself to close the curtains but he keeps forgetting to. Maybe once he finds his soulmate they could close the curtains before going to bed. Harry makes the conscious effort to still back the groans hanging at the back of his throat, but it's laborious when they're inching their way forward. Harry slowly plants his feet to the floor and lifts himself up off the mattress. He rose his hand and rubbed the nape of his neck and scratches the back of his head.

He was tired; weary with the burden of long-closed eyes and slumber, and the prior day's exhaustion. After waking up worn from heavy dreaming with all his dreams exhausted before dawn his brows wrinkled, holding himself in the early morning glow. The first thought that came to Harry's mind was coffee. A drink made from the roasted and ground beanlike seeds of a tropical shrub. A drink that could turn on Harry's sleepiness into angst, it can show him how the heart beats fast through the mixture of warmth and anger. Keep him alive and well and aware of his existence. Harry sluggishly walked out of his room and to his kitchen. The kitchen was a mess to see, piles of dishes in the sink that still hasn't been washed, soup cans spread about on the counter and boxes on the floor next to the pantry. Harry did not have enough time to clean it up he just wanted his coffee and go to the gym.

A knock sounded at the front of the house and the front door opened. "Harry!" It was Gemma. She strolled into the kitchen before she jumped back and covered her eyes, "Bloody hell why are you in your briefs?" 

"This is my house I can do whatever I want. Why are you here?" Harry shook his head.

"I came here because I wanted to tell you sorry, I know how sensitive you are when people get into your business and touch your things." Harry absolutely despises when people into that inner circle. 

"Okay great, apology accepted. Now can you please leave I need to head out to get some coffee and go to the gym because I can't stand seeing my kitchen like that at the moment." Harry rushed to his room only to find his trousers lying on the floor next to his mattress. Gemma followed behind him.

"What? That's it? Harry, we need to talk." 

"No, no we don't because I have a lot on my mind and I just woke up, so please another time." Harry gestured his hands without looking back at Gemma. He pulled his trousers up to his waist and fixed the fly. 

"You've gone insane; obsessed with your mate. 'I have a soulmate, I need to find him.' Tired of that." Gemma mocked as she followed Harry out of his bedroom.

"Well you know what? I'm tired of you checking up on me everyday when I'm clearly doing perfectly fine, I just got a lot on my mind." Harry slipped on his coat and slipped on the shoes he wore yesterday. 

"I can help you figure everything out." Gemma offered. 

"No thanks, I don't want your help." 

"Harry, yes you do."

"Gemma, just go away and leave me alone. Please." Harry looked back at Gemma after grabbing his keys. Harry didn't really want to be alone. He was tired of being alone. Harry didn't mean it when he said he was getting bored of Gemma coming over everyday; he appreciated it. Harry waited for a few seconds for Gemma to walk out of the front door first while Harry followed behind her. Gemma got inside her car but Harry was having trouble with his keys only because of the extremely cold weather. The icy driveway nearly lift him off his feet. "Shit." His keys weren't working and he knew Gemma had already left. For attempt number two his keys unlocked the door to the black Range Rover. Harry pulled himself into the drivers seat and turned the vehicle on only to put the heat on. Harry sat back sighing as long fingers and bruised knuckles ran through his hair. Stress begin to kick in as Harry pressed the palms of his hands against the steering wheel, pulling the vehicle onto the road. 

Everything felt as if the world was gonna collapse and humanity would be no more. Giving warning to take cover from something that didn't exist. Mythical was at the tip of Harry's tongue. Let's work everything out, let's work it out, Harry thought. 

Harry reached his destination a few minutes after leaving his house. Not as much vehicles were in their parking spaces. Harry stepped inside the coffee shop walking to the small counter that displayed pastries and coffee. The news was on and the anchorman rambled on about the same boy with the name that couldn't leave Harry's head. "Niall Horan, a 18 year old boy ran away and went missing just a couple days ago. He was last seen with a group of guys around his age hanging around in the woods at a national park in London. No one knew why they were there or what their purpose was for being there but all I can say is that something must've happen that dared this boy's mind to run away. His father is devastating about his disappearance and he gave a little evidence about him running away many times before."

Harry kept his eyes fixated on the coffee in front of him. Pouring two packs of sugar and using a plastic spoon to stir. He brought his cup to a different counter to pay but only to encounter a conversation. "That's sad to hear about a young boy who went missing, his friends and family must be heartbroken knowing that their love is out there hardly surviving. Why won't he just come home?" The cashier asked. 

"I'm sure he's out there trying to figure everything out. I don't really expect someone to come home after two days." Harry pulled out his wallet to grab his credit card. 

"Did someone you know went missing?"

"No, but I'm searching." Harry wet his lips before taking a sip of the hot liquid, "Have a lovely day."

Harry took another sip. The taste of coffee sits bitter in his mouth as he walked out of the coffee shop to his car. Fingers slipped around the handle but as soon as he swung open the door he could feel pain striking every bone in his body. The pain is indescribable. It overwhelms his being, demands control of every nerve. It's not a physical sort of pain rather a mental one. Despite this, he has no foggiest idea what it is exactly. All he know is that it's there, and he wants it to go away. It turned his heart inside out and dropped in fire and Harry could do nothing more but clutch his heart and drop to his knees. There was no comfort or contentment just hands reaching out. Everything sounded like distant voices, "Can you hear me, sir?" Then there was no sounds. 

"Shit, he collapsed."

Harry would want nothing more than to feel his own heart beat and listen to it; watch it do its job and keep him alive but right now that isn't the case. Lying on the floor with frantic customers running around and staring at him with petrified eyes would have never made the list of things he wish he could do. "There seems to not be any markings on him besides bruises and small cuts across his body, what could possibly be the reason why he went unconscious?" A couple of fingers caressed under Harry's jaw then to his wrist. "Heart is beating but no pulse." 

"How long will the ambulance be here?" 

"What happened?"

"Does anyone know the name to this kid?"

Too many sounds uttered through too many mouths couldn't reach Harry's ears. Coffee laid spilled while Harry's shirt soaked it between the seams of his thick material. Suddenly Harry's favorite jumper-that he wore yesterday-was being pushed up to his neck as his stomach was showing; bruises and cuts were much more prominent to everyone. electrode pads were being teared apart from its packaging and stuck onto the pulse less victim's bare chest. Everyone then backed away from Harry, clearing a space for the doctors and Harry himself. The first shock from the AED was delivered but no air seemed to blow out of Harry's nose. A two minute session of CPR came between every shock until they were sure Harry was breathing again. 

"Jesus Christ." Harry breathed. 

Now all Harry could think about was dying young. He doesn't want his heart to die, he doesn't want anyone he knows suffer from a loss. Where would open arms be for him? The screaming and the crying would be the last sound to ever be heard before everything goes blank. Die and reborn in that same old tired lonely place but slowly. Harry doesn't realize that he is slowly dying every year; getting closer to his death date. What's the real reason behind death? No love? No happiness? No one to be part of? Everything part of the list of a thousand ways to die. Harry could feel a hole in his chest knowing and feeling the stars burning and dying. The light of all the stars flickered off and fell to the pit of Harry's stomach making him clutch his abdomen. 

Darkness and more darkness creeping around the eyes and Harry couldn't take it anymore. The palms of hands covered his eyes and all the noise was getting around him; he just wanted to mute everything. As he shook his head,  silent sobs as the tears stream down his face. Why does it hurt so much? Harry felt heartbroken, incomplete. Tears sting at the backs of my eyelids. Fighting them back as another onset of sobbing threatens. Harry took deep breaths, trying to gain back control of his emotions. In and out, shuddering breaths. He has back control of his emotions, for a time at lest.

Harry stayed lying on the floor with his eyes closed while taking deep breaths. He pulled his jumper down to the waist; thinking that everyone doesn't need a second glance at his bare chest. 

"Sir, I'm gonna get someone to call your parents."

"No, don't do that. I don't need someone to worry about me more than they should." Harry protested. 

"Sir, they are your parents."

"They're not here, they're out of town." Harry lift himself up from the floor feeling a little lightheaded as he stood up. "Ouch," he articulated the sentiment simultaneously, rubbing his forehead with his hand to trim down the unexpected twinge the contact left on him. Harry's left eye visibly twitched while staring staunchly at a man up and down; his hand was still pressed on his forehead, rubbing the spot that had formerly been hit by a headache which he was pretty sure would have cured by now. His eyes vigilantly travelled towards the people in the shop. They only dawdled around for just a moment before flickering over to his inert posture then right back at everyone else where he gave them a pleading look that honestly did not even need any further clarification for everyone to go away.

The man in front of him poked his arm with a finger and eventually catching Harry's attention. "If they're not here, can I at least get your full name and age?"

Despite the situation of Harry being brought to conscious in the midst of the floor; having the man make him feel uncomfortable and of course, despite the fact that Harry had been crying not only a minute ago, he could not help hiding his sorriness at the mere sight of him

"Harry Edward Styles and I'm 18." He gulped. The man catches sight of Harry's face screwed up with confusion, looking around himself at the shop still, and smiles. The man put away his small notepad in his back pocket and walked away. "Wait is that it?"

"You're breathing aren't you? There's nothing else we can do."

Harry's lips parted, he wanted to say something but he didn't know how so he stayed quiet. His forehead begin to crease and eyebrows furrowed as he pinched the top of his nose. He can feel the blood boil in his veins and his bones split. Harry shook his head and turned his body away from everyone else only because he was wanting to leave. The palm of Harry's left hand pressed against his forehead as he can still feel the throbbing. He pushed open the front door of the shop; stepping out onto the pavement with green eyes squinting. "That was no fucking accident." Harry grunted irritably to himself. Self-consciously walking himself sluggishly to his car with the sun beating down on him. Suddenly a cold breeze swiftly came around, it wasn't need since it was already cold enough in Cheshire. Harry dryly swallowed but can still taste the stinging of the coffee that was long gone. Harry wouldn't make another thought about buying a new cup of coffee. He desired to go to the gym but everything hurts. Feels like nails being hammered into his back, stepping on a blanket of broken glass barefooted, and his bones snapping at every flinch he would make.

Harry thought he would never see life again after falling onto the floor. Dying like what seem like burning in fire; trying to escape and screaming for help. All he ever felt was pain and helplessness while his skin burns in the flames. He was lucky enough that someone let the fire go out and held out a hand for him to reach and pull him out of the ashes. Learning to get back on his feet and breathe. Whoever it was Harry could almost say that they were his guardian angel. Of course there was no such thing as guardian angels, no one here to protect him-or at least that's what Harry thought. There wasn't really anything Harry need protection from he's safe and sound; always watching out for himself. Except a couple days ago when a car nearly hit him as it pulled out of its parking spot.

After about five minutes of standing outside next to his car and checking his phone Harry slipped into the driver's side of the Range Rover, shoving the key into the ignition. "Nothing he can do," Harry snapped at no one in particular, twisting the car key and starting the engine. The belt squealed a little bit and he winced, knowing he would have to get that checked out soon. Which meant coughing up money from his wallet to some mechanic that would probably only need three seconds to figure out the problem. Harry reached over to flick on the radio, deciding on BBC Radio 1 before settling back into his seat, fingers curling around the steering wheel. He exhaled loudly, keeping his gaze to the world outside his front window. 

Furrowing his eyebrows, Harry tried to remember which street was the street that led to the street the gym sat on. Going on instinct, he turned left, and headed down Main St. Upon passing a small pizza place, he knew he took the correct turn. A gas station went by, and then a convenience store called Chester convenience store, and lastly an antique shop down on Steam Mills street. 

There wasn't much in Cheshire and Harry was okay with that. He didn't need a big fancy house or a very expensive car with tinted windows he has everything he could ever want except one thing. A person in particular that he wants to be true to him like his soulmate that he is still looking for. A true soulmate is a mirror. The person who shows him everything that's holding him back. The person who brings Harry to his attention so he can change his life for the better. Someone who is absolutely perfect for Harry in every way. Who is wandering around out there just waiting for that magical moment when the two of them will instantly merge into one. Everything from that moment on will be loving, sparkly, and free from any kind of real world distress.

"Let me get lost in your heart." Harry said to himself.

There was a red light ahead, immediately Harry slammed on the brakes, causing his seatbelt to lock up and effectively choke him. Harry grunted a little and sat back in his seat. The radio tends to irritate Harry's peace of mind by repeating vexations so he turned off the live broadcast. He huffed and indignant puff of air, and once again turned his back to the road.

The light turned green, and Harry turned left, heading down Kennings Street. His eyes located the gymnasium quickly, he sighed. The gym wasn't as nice like the gyms over in London, but that wasn't a problem to Harry. His eyes flicked to the large door and watch as someone walked inside. There were a few open spots in the parking lot so Harry parked the Range Rover in a spot closest to the gym. Shutting off the car's engine and gazing at the building for a moment; unsnapping his seatbelt and climbing out of his car onto the ground. He shuffled to the door while the rocks beneath his feet crunched at every step. Harry hoped nothing will happen once he opens the door just like the little incident not even half an hour ago. Harry sniffed and immediately brushed his knuckles against the bridge of his nose. He is still ill from the cold that he received yesterday; remembering snapping at Gemma who did no harm. That sent him into a guilty silence. Misery and some guilt of his own settled into his stomach, and Harry regretted his words instantly. 

Harry carefully opened the door then looked past his shoulder, seeing that no one else was outside. He stepped inside and could feel the cold breeze sweeping in. "It's fucking freezing in here." Harry muttered as he strolled up to the front desk. Harry struggled getting his wallet out from his back pocket, but when he finally managed to get it out he pulled out his card. He swiped his card that he signed up for so he could go to the gym a few times a week. 

"Sorry honey, your card expired." 

"What? I think you're making a mistake I got this card no too long ago."

"That card only last for three months. If you like I can get you a new card for you to sign up for."

"No, no thank you. I'll just be leaving then." Harry muttered his last few words. 

"Okay."

Harry turned back around and went back outside into the cold world where clouds are thicker with fresh fallen snow and tracks of muddy shoes through it. The cold caresses the air touching his skin and Harry, held by something so ethereal he shivers while the cold wraps around, trying to penetrate something so sacred so simple enigmatic while the warmth does not invade but becomes one with the feeling already in his chest.

The cold grey sky this morning reminds Harry of his grandparents. Baking cookies until there was no more cookie dough left. Gemma used to lick the spoon and bowl that contained a little bit of dough while grandma take it away from her so she can wash the dishes. Harry, laid on the floor eating cookies and watched cartoons until he fell asleep.

Reading novels at the age of 10 but still couldn't quite understand the 'big words' that appeared on every page. Harry like how sophisticated they looked in books with a higher reading level. 

Back under the cold grey sky Harry stared down at the ground that use to be covered in rocks but what is now snow. Giving Harry a clear expression of mixed feelings as his mood changed. Other people don't see what Harry sees, a lost boy with something that made pedestrians afraid of him. Laugh at him too because he's alone. "I want to feel something, something that is not this." Harry whispered. Harry kept his head down as he walked to his car. Rubbing his hands together to create some kind of friction just to keep his hands warm. He open his car door then climbed inside. The seats were just as cold as it was outside so Harry turned the car on and let the heat move its way around the almost vacant seats.


End file.
